watching a lamp for hours?

during my master's and later, there were many tables where students would sit to work and collaborate in creative projects. most of these projects where digital projects, so most of them would sit and work with their laptops. that was the time were I was becoming increasingly dissatisfied with digital technologies, so I was observing more the way it was used. it intrigued me to notice that, if I didn't use a laptop within that context, I felt that I wasn't actually doing "anything". I was "idle" until I was in front of a screen. that was my personal perception based on the effect of the group of people, I guess.

at some point I tried to challenge that perception, working in the coloring computers, planning and drawing them. I was very into creating them completely without digital computers. I was able to do it for a while, but it felt very strange. trying to remember, I think I felt very "vulnerable", without the shield of the screen cover and whatever important could be happening inside?

as a research resident, we had an office and we could use external monitors. some people used one, a few used two, and a couple of us (the more environmentally aware?) didn't want to use one. I was consciously trying to "fight" back: I won't let my attention be consumed by a big box of light! I can focus better having one thing at a time on a small laptop scren!

later in life (?) I realized that a good posture while using the laptop was helpful for me. that could mean bringing the laptop up and using an external keyboard, or, in my new office, actually/finally using an external monitor of a decent size. I could understand why people liked and like using them: it feels good to have big and crips images! and you can fit many things there!

I use paper planners and notebooks, and I still feel a little bit strange using them whenever I'm in a context of "people working with computers, focusing in front of a screen". I still have to unlearn the feeling that tells me that, in work, "I'm not doing anything until I'm in front of a screen".

outside of work, to some extent I've been able to stay away from screens. I read paperback books, or I write or doodle in paper when waiting and/or in train travels. or I try to do "nothing". but if I'm standing in the train because there were no more available seats, "doing nothing", and someone in there is watching something in their mobile screen, how difficult is to not look with curiosity!